Fire emblem: Diaries
by guilty archdevil
Summary: Can things get any worse than this... yes, especially with a diary thief on the loosernplease read & review
1. Sain's diary on his lonely life

Fire emblem: diaries

The story takes place in chapter 15. Since I have nothing better to do, I decide to do a Journal on Sain since I wish to try one out although it may be too OCC for anyones tastes but then, I appologise.

Chapter one:

-Diary mode-

Entree one: Weathers good but wished that it is better than this

This is not good at all. I can't believe myself, after a year of trying to find love; I have found nothing but pain. As a result, I have started writing this journal so that I could past my heart and soul into this book, should I ever die of loneliness.

What has happened in the past year? Well, nothing much since everything is just stable without the freaky tactician, Mark who thinks he's cool for commanding people to do stuff.

Lyn is… well simply practicing everyday and walking around with her Grandpa and learning how to be a noble. Still the sexy lady I know

Florina is… also practicing a lot and is going out on flights with her Pegasus everyday since 'MEN' seem to scare her to senselessness, even after all this time. She's still cute and all but still unapproachable.

Wil is trying to learn some manners from Kent and to be become a normal gentle man. In short, he wants to become another Kent whom is the most boring man in existence. But even then, he still is okay.

Kent, well is simply guarding the castle like a stiff and is acting like a pain in the arse. Well maybe not that but still will remain the party pooper he is all the time.

Me… well to be faithfully honest, ever since I couldn't find the girl of my life, I have finally stopped being a knight since two months ago and is now helping my dad, whom owns a café in the village just south of the castle. I was put to work cooking and even though I wouldn't tell anyone else, I do miss everyone. My dad thinks that if I excel in homely skills instead of being a flirt (like everyone says I am), I could get a cute girl. This of course doesn't exclude everyday training, stupid bum. Oh, and I got an invitation for someone's party, but since it only have the Caelin royal seal and the part with the name is gone some how, I don't know whose birthday it is. Wish I could talk to a girl though, it's pretty boring now. I want LOVE, damn it.

Hey what in the…

Entrée two: Weathers crap but it is not raining so I don't give a crud

Damn hell, I was interrupted in my writing by a tired group of… hey it's my old friends. It seems the unthinkable has happened and the group need refuge in order to think about how to take over the castle once again. Turns out that the castle is invade by… what the, A BUNCH OF HIPPIES FROM LAUS. WTF, THEY TOOK OVER BECAUSE THE CASTLES A COSY PLACE COMPARED TO SANTARUZ DESPITE NO ONE BEING THERE. WTFFF, THEY MADE ALL THE MAIDS IN THE CASTLE DO A LAP DANCING… NOO wait… oh okay, they were only made to be their maids. Not as bad but I must defend the rights of the ladies. In any case, I must help my lord to get back at those gay freaks whom is said to be eating her birthday cake planned for tomorrow's birthday. LYNS PLANNING A BIRTHDAY, OH YEAH and just the place to find a nice girl… Shut up Kent, Just cause I write a diary doesn't mean I am not a man. GEEEZZ. Any how, none of my friends have changed any but I want thecake… sniff.

-Entrée three before battle: Weathers awesome, his cool refreshing

YES, a big fight for the castle has started now. Oh, seeing this really truly makes my day and… even better I got a magic sword from my dad. He said I need to train for a bit to unleash its wind magic but who cares, MY DAD RULEZ although he still wants to stay at home (crap). Anyhow, let's see the guys who have joined in for this Battle Royale.

Serra is back with a SLIGHTY improved mannerism check as well as losing a bit of weight improving him sexuala... Grrr, Erk's back with all new magic degrees. Damn, he still doesn't give Serra the decent she deserves. I should give him a lesson for this kind of indecency.

Dorcas, well, nothing much about him except that he is still trying to get gold for his wife. Quite cool nonetheless. Bartre well may not be smart but he's not totally dumb (well maybe he is), despite the fact he cannot take anything beyond four-five syllables. He punches the rocks to relieve himself of the pain. He tried to hit me for that after Erk said something about him being a crazy man associated with the gorilla. Luckily, I was fast enough to dodge but I don't think I like him much.

Matthews back, which is good because he can tell me wants in stock in the questionable art department. He's got a now friend guy into the fight, even though he looks like Matthews slave. Lord Eliwood and lord Hector are in charge for the group, even though they seem to want to know why they even bother to come to this crazy place. Wonder why Lord Eliwood is limping though

There three golden oldies in Marcus, Oswin and Melinus. Oh dear… several more people with the book of sacred rules up their arses. Oh man.

I forgot to mention the cook, Lowen. Well, needs beefing up in the strength department since during the battle, he nearly got skewered like achickenkebab.

Oh, there are two new girls, Priscilla and another I can't quite name, whom are just so cool with their dazzling beauty and... Well before I could start drooling on this, I have a battle to finish first cause I must talk to one of them soon and I don't want this battle getting in the way. Oh crud, the tacticians back,but with his stupid emblem weapons pack for defence. Well excuse me while I take the emblem spear for use. Oh, did just see Hector body slamming the knight Bauker, the leader of Hippies from Laus. Let's see.

-Entree three after battle. Weather not too good this time, it's starting to rain and it's now evening.

Well, I'm back. Damn that female with the green hair. That person stole my diary and is now laughing her head off after reading it a bit. Normally it wouldn't be much but anyone reading my diary is a dead person, female or not. Well, I finally learned that Bauker is simply leader of the defence force but not the top cheese of theLaus force (Darin is). Hector, whom was the one whom landed Bauker in the heap, told me he has learnt wrestling ever since Eliwood has accidentally broke his Wolf Biel during a battle a few days back. Oh, finally, I discovered that the emblem lance is pure crap and the biggest thing to note is never use it again. It's for pussies and…

Hmmmm, I caught sight of that damn villain again. Well excuse me will I catch her, tie her up and tickle the daylights out of her. And find out her name.

* * *

-Normal present day view-

'Hey Sain' Kent said as he pasted by my tent "What's wrong?"

"I'm going to be a little bit busy" Sain said angrily as he picked up a couple of ropes. "I'm going to catch that naughty girl and… huh there she is"

"Hey Sain, why are you chasing her"

"Cause she's a thief"

"Really, are you going to flirt with her" Kent asked in a warning tone

"No, it's serious this time" Sain shouted before running off. "I won't be having dinner this time"

"I got to make sure he doesn't make an idiot of himself" Kent said as rushed off behind him.

End

I hope its good, should I continue


	2. which gets highjacked by a silly female ...

Chapter 2: Damn that thief

Hey guys, thanks for reviewing and please keep sending them in. I like to also point out that I will try something different. IN short words, Sain is not the only person writing a diary and who is this thief anyway? Could it be an original character or someone we all should know?

xZero84x: I'm sorry I forgot about Wil, I'll do my best to include him this time round

K-Gforever: Thanks, I'll do my best. I'll try my best to update soon, now that I have some time on my hands

-start-

Entrée four: Can't tell weather, we are inside the castle. Plus I am in control.

Hi there, I'm the bad girl that has been reading Sainy boy's diary. Well since Sainy boy has dropped his diary from yesterday's chase, I guess I can use it for now. Hahaha

Well, today's the day we fight it out in the castle and I have just gotten a hold of a steel bow which I ask Matthew to get for me. Well, what can I say; he's smart and useful unlike that Mark, whom has a special liking towards the emblem weapons, most of which have extremely bad strength and such. Well, I'm happy I got this.

The times isn't very good and since things are boring with the old guys in charge of the situation and the other guys basically 'following the damn rule book manual' as Sainy boy has said, I can't do anything fun and since Serra and Priscilla are also getting very tired of this stupidity in cue card supports, we have decided to have some fun by trying to play jokes on others. Well, more on that later. Serra has even decided not to support Erk unless she gets to come up with her own words for supports, not stupid dumb words that Mark puts in her mouth with cue cards. Poor Serra! I don't see the point in supports anyway and even if it's for dating reasons, I would prefer to choose my own, GRRRRR.

Speaking of supports, I got to support Wil, which in itself is pretty cool although the whole thing only last for 20 seconds. It could have been 100 times better if the supports weren't read from a cue card. Now that's wrong but the tactician says is necessary for weird reasons which I just don't get.

Damn tactician couldn't stay in one place with him going from one world to the next. He actually said that I'm not as useful as Bartre cause I'm low in the strength department (what ever the flux that means), Grrr when I get the chance I will… oh right. To the battle scene, well the interesting part of this anyway:

Knight: hey there you wrench, its time to die a long and painful death (tries to skewer me)

Me: come on, I did nothing, yet (firers and arrow at his leg, but doesn't do anything)

Knight: huh, that did nothing cause of the… ARGH (feels the pain of the staff to where the sun don't shine)

Serra: 'smiling happily' Hey there Rebecca, need some help

Me: thanks Serra, you're the best. But isn't that against the rules to use staff as weapons

Serra: Yeah, but since we can't have any action, Priscilla and I decide that we can't let this sexism can continue any more… ARRRRGH HELP

Me: OH CRAP…

Knight: (getting back up slowly and angrily) GRRRR, How dare you do that to me! When I get my hands on you, I will seriously make you… ARRRRGH (gets stab through heart)

Sain: huh, I'm a one dimensional ladies man am I, I'll never get a nice ending with a girl now is it, well can you do this you silly cheap arse tactician with the worst taste in weaponry. I will get you for making me support Kent with the gayest dialogue in existence. WHO USES CUE CARDS FOR SUPPORT ANYWAY…? GRRRRRR

Serra: HEEYYY, THANKS SAIN. At least some men are nice and cute to talk to, unlike someone I know.

Me: oh no, if he sees me

Sain: Thanks lady Serra and you (points at me), give me back my diary or I am going to tie you up and (notices I am running away). I'LL GET YOU, YOU EVIL DIARY THIEF!

Well, that's what happened while I am currently trying to hide. Man, if it weren't for his anger towards me, I might … Oh no… damn… he's coming

* * *

Entrée four: Still can't tell weather. Finally I'm back in command 

Hey there, it's me Sain. That bad girl has escaped this time but next time I will…NOOOOO, if I weren't so mad I might have… oh well, I might as we chase her down latter. I just discovered something that has made me nearly want to kill the tactician 1000 times over. I saw him saying that he's going to promote Kent (BASTARD). Oh, Damn, I still haven't found out the girls name… nice fairy-like look and the figure to match, yeah baby. Hey, she thinks that the tacticians a nut as well, cool. I always thought that the emblem weapons are a jack piece of crap in battle. I nearly got impaled on it because it's so weak and it broke while in use. But a promise is a promise and I will tie that bad girl up and tickle the naughty daylights out of her for being a thief, but only when I catch her. Oh, did I mention that the ladies are damn hot right now.

Well, we just managed to beat Bernard up. He was beaten not by us, but by our Steeds. First, Marcus's horse tried to ram Bernard and Lowen's horse did the same, but knocked each other out. Then while Bernard is laughing his sorry head off, Kent's horse Brad kicked him in the back while my horse Albert knocked him in the head. If that wasn't enough, Florina's Pegasus Huey flew into Bernard and knocked him out of the throne and into the wall, knocking him out for good and thus making him our prisoner (COOL).

Oh, did I mention that two guys have joined our forces, the silent Raven and the fashion critic Lucius. Well, I guess Serra and Lucius have a lot of catching up to do. Lucius, like Serra is really into fashion and both love to collect the latest stuff. No wonder I always got confused as to whose gender is what when it comes to that Blondie. About Raven, nothing can be said. Did I mention he has a thing for Priscilla? Damn he's a lucky bum; I want to have a girlfriend too.

Well, its time to have something to drink while the lords do the usual talk on the ROYAL matters at hand. See yah!

* * *

Entrée five: Weather is bad cause of the hail that is occurring. Guess Sain forgot his dairy again now that he's slightly drunk and I'm writing now. 

Well, since it is raining and all we all get a holiday in the castle and since the Tactician has mysteriously disappeared again due to stupid multiverse reasons, we can spend a day doing things we don't normally get to do, like having a pillow fight and playing cards in a castle and play jokes (ROCK ON).

For what I would say about Sainy boy's remarks about the tactician, I agree absolutely. But about tying me up and tickling me to death… well you're just so very naughty but at least you are entertaining… that's if you can catch me which I personality think you can't do without a horse (heh, I'm too sweet and fast). I might as well warn you however that the tactician doesn't want to promote you at all since he thinks you are not as useful as Kent. Don't worry though as you are also in the same boat. He won't promote Florina, Serra, Priscilla and me because he says males are stronger and stuff and he thinks Florina is too shy to fight and he won't promote you because he says you don't have any skill. Oh, you made a slight error on the Raven/ Priscilla bit. They are brother and sister and not quite what you are thinking. Well, everybody makes mistakes I guess.

Well, back to the scene. I will give back your diary soon but I will steal it back again (I want to see if you can actually catch me without a horse. Besides, reading a diary is fun. As of such in the castle, most of the males decided to have a chance at drinking the new Illian beer that was imported a day back. Since Lady Lyn's birthday was postponed two days back due to fights, it can only be fixed by an after party today and since I'm the cook along with Lowen and Serra, it was a blast. Even Eliwood whom is usually too serious got pretty drunk and now is engaging in a beer sparing contest with Lyn, whom he bet in a thousand years couldn't beat him in a beer contest.

Hector is also doing something funny as well. He is going along withFlorina's dancing performance, whom I think, is drunk off the Illian Vodka. I thought she was a shy vulnerable girl but well, the drink does funny things to you. Might as well have a try of it soon otherwise I won't get a chance later due to the adventure to the Dread isle later in the week. Did I just see Oswin crying or what?

Sainy boy is trying to talk to Serra before being dragged away by Kent, whom is now chastising him on duty. Damn, wonder why Kent is such a stiff all the time?

Matthew and Leila are here too to enjoy the party. Leila is an Ostian spy with the red hair and skin tight clothing. Damn, I wish had her figure, then finding a boy friend won't be such a problem. Excuse me while I try and find Lucius to fix that damn problem… he's the new clothes expert in the group. Wonder what Matthew is giving Leila anyway? could it be an Iron Rune or a gem?

Time to enjoy the party while I hang the cooking tools and get the right stuff on!

* * *

-Normal present day view- 

"Hey... what the heck"

"I'm coming to get you now, you diary thief" Sain shouted angrily while picking up feather "now come back here, your delaying the inevitable"

"No way" the mystery girl shouted back while dodging into the crowd of drunken people "I'm not going to let you catch me"

"That's nice, but what a fantastic bust you have" Sain said with a slightly perverted tone.

"Thanks… huh, what did you say" she replied as she stopped only to have Sain close in. After a second of doubt, the girl ducked under a table only to have Sain crash into it.

"Oh no, it's not going to be that easily"

"GIVE ME BACK MY DIARY YOU EVIL THIEF WITH THE GREEN HAIR"

"YOU'LL HAVE TO TIE ME UP FIRST"

"I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS… GRRRR"

End

-Please read and review-


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